The City of Lives

Lord Useless and the Men of Real Talent: Stupid Idea No. 151: Point and Laugh at Phineos Part 4

Mili had been keeping a magical eye on Elleia for the past few hours, but once she determined that the highborn lady was of no threat at the moment, she headed down to the sewers after Jonakin and Gruda. There, Jonakin ventured out from her protective pipe and started beating the revolutionary Worldshaper about the head and neck, giving him a concussion. The Wildshifter threw up a mass of vines that tied Gruda to the wall, helpless, then took control of Jonakin’s rats, telling them to go after the tasty Iversdotter.

The Worldshaper magically grabbed up bricks and mortar from his half-finished tunnel and hurled them at Jonakin. [he tried to compel Jonakin’s “Best Defense is a Good Offense” to hurt Jonakin’s defense, but Jeremy paid it off], causing minimal damage.

Mili, carefully hidden in the rubble, began taking potshots at the Worldshaper, firing an arrow through his arm. Jonakin responded to the Wildshifter’s tactic by making the Worldshaper smell like an Iversdotter, hoping to redirect the rats back at her enemies [invoking “Iver 4Iver,” as she is a true expert on the Iversdotter form]. Mili sniped the Worldshaper again, causing him to start “bleeding out,” desperately holding a fist to a gut wound to avoid dying of rapid blood loss.

Back upstairs, Iolanthe waited patiently for the potion to be finished, and easily deflected the old alchemist’s questions on who she was, assuring him that she and Elleia were co-workers. In the reading room, Toulouse and Eustice engaged in small talk, Toulouse bragging about his conquest last night until he remembered Eustice was there. He then shifted strategies, asking Eustice about Elleia. Eustice tried to deny having any kind of feelings for her, but Toulouse saw right through him.

Iolanthe picked up the potion from the old man and headed to Eustice, telling him they should leave. Using his unique ability to twist every situation into his own version of reality, Eustice used his commanding presence to tell Iolanthe that he had just had the idea that they should leave (after all, he’s not about to take orders from “a lower House. And a woman.”)

In the sewers, the Worldshaper, covered in rats, spent one last-ditch effort to open the door to the Curia. Jonakin responded by picking him up and throwing him at the Wildshifter (failing to hit him but killing the Shaper).

Since Jonakin went to the sewers, Eustice had been followed by a replacement bodyguard that Jonakin hired. Eustice failed to realize that it was a different person, and complimented “Jonakin” with things like “Jonakin! You’re not your usual bitchy self today!” He, Iolanthe, and the bodyguard headed out the Curia’s front door, where they saw Elleia and Arrulio. Eustice immediately rushed over to Elleia, ignoring Arrulio entirely. Iolanthe did “Whatever It Takes” to hide the Nullcrafting potion [though, pointedly, not using it as a tampon] as Eustice distracted Arrulio and Elleia.

Arrulio tried to stare Eustice down about his plans with Elleia, “taking her away from him,” (totally misinterpreting the situation), and Eustice responded that she should hand him over ‘cause he’s so great [invoking “ People are Objects” and “Son of Someone Important”]. [It was a nice moment that Arrulio and Eustice were able to have a social conflict while actually having entirely different conversations.

Elleia [according to Mindy’s “spin”] “got a little wet” in response to his sexiness. She decided to invite Eustice out to lunch (sparing him from Mo’s wrath), but he TURNED HER DOWN, in a huge strike for his ego. Frustrated, she decided to go home and fuck Phineos [and will likely call out Eustice’s name that night.

The Wildshifter wrapped himself in protective vines as armor. Jonakin tried to turn the Wildshifter’s blood into insect food, but the shifter threw his blood, coming from a wound above his eyes, on the ground. Mili shot him, causing minimal damage through the armor, and then he ran into the tunnel to the Curia. Jonakin tried to use her knowledge of “Martial Arts are the only True Arts” to find a vulnerable area, but failed. Mili fired again, wounding the Wildshifter in the shoulder. His vine armor fell into uselessness, and he threw up a fence to try and head Jonakin off. Jonakin walked right through it and destroyed the Wildshifter by pulling his own vines tight enough to pop his head off.

With the immediate threat finished, the Men of Real Talent examined the damage. The Worldshaper’s tunnel had been stopped by the Nullsphere, but there was less than a person’s width worth of rock between the end of the tunnel and the Curia basement, which the Men regarded as a gross incompetence. Realizing that a few people with picks and shovels could easily gain access, the Men decided to advise Theonides to tell the security forces to expand the Nullsphere further out (and get another Worldshaper to fill in the tunnel.

Meanwhile, Mili watched Elleia with her Farsharing long enough to see a tremendous fight between her and Arrulio. Apparently he misinterpreted all of Eustice’s dialogue, and had come to the conclusion that Elleia had betrayed him and was working for Eustice. He abandoned her with a vow to ruin her.

The most immediate concerns dealt with, the Men of Real Talent wanted to continue following up the leads of Arrulio and Mo, trying to find a way to ensure that Mo would not be able to pull off this same attack again next week. However, Eustice decided that it was time for a vacation, and packed up all the Men to accompany him on a sexual safari with Toulouse. Heading for Mili’s home Realm of Munti Manchay, Toulouse will possess one of Mili’s people, and Eustice will have sex with him/her while watching the scenario play out on her skin. Good times.

Notes:
On Mindy licking me and me saying thank you: “That’s true love right there” (Anna)

An idea that didn’t fly: Erillia will at the Curia, and the Wildshifting bomb going off caused Syler to die protecting her. It’s worth noting that Erillia may be in cahoots with Mo, because she knows how dangerous he is. She was/is a dangerous Dreamsharer [Maybe there was no guy in a back room or potion at all!].

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