Stupid Idea #143 Part 4: The Canapé Caper Continued
As the canape caper continued, Iolanthe turned the tables on the distracting Sky-Carvers, getting them to fawn over her instead. Meanwhile, Gruda reacted in the exact opposite manner: disturbed and confused by the Sky-Carvers’ seduction, she wondered if she would end up going home with one of them or getting so flustered she’d punch one of them out (feeling “Conflicted, Roiling Hormones”). As the Sky-Carvers followed Gruda into the kitchen (and Mili following behind), Mili knocked hot soup into one of their laps, but failed to deter him. Gruda tried to intimidate him into leaving, as he was being unsafe in the kitchen, but her roiling hormones threw her off. She just barely managed to avoid full seduction by holding Eustice in her mind (“He’s So Dreamy”), before Mili pantsed the Sky-Carver, hoping his laughably small penis [invoked with a fate point] would get Gruda back into the swing of things. He left, panicked, but his friend stuck around until Mili went gonzo and followed her hunter’s instinct to hurl a kitchen knife to cut a bunch of pots from the ceiling, which fell onto the Sky-Carver. “He should be more careful. Kitchens are dangerous places,” she quipped to herself… as Gruda took a pot to the head too.
Meanwhile, Iolanthe followed Freyj into a back room, and smashed right into her, knocking a sheaf of papers to the floor. While “helping to clean them up,” she noticed that one of them had Fortunato’s debts listed on it, and another had Eustice’s name on it. Unfortunately, she was unable to determine the true relevance.
Worried that Fortunato was bending to Freyj’s blackmail, Iolanthe started loudly spreading tales of Theonides’ great wealth and charity, hoping to get him back on their side. Meanwhile, one of Eustice’s tarts (Stacia? or did she die? who can tell?) started playing footsie with Fortunato’s crotch, trying to distract him, but he apparently only cares for Rural women, and didn’t respond.
Mili darted out of the kitchen following the clatter of pots, only to be spotted by Fortunato (who chose not to reveal her). She hid from Freyj, the “scary, dangerous predator,” and tried to intimidate Fortunato (but her utter lack of social skills failed her).
Back in the kitchen, Gruda discovered that cyanide is shelved between celery root and dillweed, and that someone had put a powerful aphrodisiac into the finger sandwiches. She distracted a Pariah cook, nabbed a few aphrodisiacal sandwiches and destroyed the rest.
Freyj tried to call an intermission, apparently hoping to talk to her player, but consummate gamblers Mios and Eustice would have none of it, saying that it would allow for cheating and isn’t the way Councilman’s Hand is played.
Finally, Mili flashed an image of Fortunato’s daughter on her skin to inspire him, while Iolanthe brought up politics, reminding Fortunato that “Great House Varos Rules with a Velvet Glove.” Fortunato discarded all his best cards, and combined with a lucky and well-played hand on Eustice’s part, the game went to Lord Useless.
Just after the game, a very frustrated Freyj stared Eustice down with the fire of a thousand suns, saying “You may have won this battle, but I will win the war. We will work together, and I will be in charge.” Unfortunately, the socially blind Eustice read it as passion, that she wanted him now, and responded “I like a woman on top,” running his finger down her cleavage.
Eustice, enjoying his new status as “the best gambler the Thousand Tastes has ever seen,” began to wonder as to why so many Sky-Carvers of House Verimadia (known to support his cousin Phineos) had been there at the game. In any case, it would certainly be fun to go and gloat in Phineos’s face…
“it’s the size of something else [his wallet] that’s important to Iolanthe. It’s not usually in his pants.”
“Neither is his penis!” -Mindy
Iolanthe runs into Freyj, papers fall over the floor. She sees Fortunato’s debts and Eustice’s name on things that she doesn’t see properly.
Sara: “My toes are stubby. They don’t hold a lot of luck.”
(Anna, on Gruda): “When you flirt with other boys, bad things happen.”
Anna: only barter doesn’t work if you never actually tell the other person the terms of the deal…
“Only now that it’s been enough time to have peed successfully” — roll Resources for peeing (having an amount of something)